What’s In a Title?

We don't have titles on our business cards. No one really gets any special treatment. No one gets a corner office to put pictures of their family and their dog in. - Jay Chiat

The British are the only European people I know who likes to put title before or after their names. From “Sir” to those who are knighted to the “nth-in-line-to-the-throne” for the royal bench-warmers. At least this passion is confined to their royalties.

Unlike here, you can see it everywhere. It’s announced in front of government buildings, in big bold letters, to connote the importance of that particular branch. Names like “General Directorate of …” and “Supreme Presidency for …” are just few of the more modest titles.

I don’t mind if an HRH is in front of a guy’s name. His royalty, that’s his official title. But commoners too like to have these vanity plates. They want to be addressed as “Doctor” so-and-so if he has a PhD from What-ever University and “Muhandes” (Engineer) if a graduate from Fly-by-night Institute of Technology. Since there are a lot of “engineers” in our project, one particular guy won’t respond if called unless you call him Besh Muhandes (top or head engineer).

South Asians are another title-obsessed group. I once knew a guy who is well liked by the man-at-the-top that he was never terminated, just transferred from one project to another. It’s not because he does amazing job, his just a good butt-kisser. The last assignment he landed to doesn’t have a title so he created his own. He called his position “Head of Logistics”. His responsible for buying all the supplies the project needs.

In terms of tenure, I’m the most senior among the employees of this project. My position or title is “Programmer”; as plain as bread without butter. The only thing that sets me apart from other programmers is that I can browbeat the Head of the Computer Department or the Project Manager if he does something stupid.