The essence of competitiveness is liberated when we make people believe that what they think and do is important - and then get out of their way while they do it. - Jack Welch
When I came home, a couple of days ago, I caught my wife and daughter huddled in one corner. My daughter looked at me and I saw her eyes pleading. But my wife won’t have any of it. She insisted that Bea practiced writing the numbers 1, 2, 3 and 4 and the vowels in capital and lower case. We taught Bea her ABC’s, 123’s, colors and shapes through songs and games and she retains everything because she learned in a fun way. That’s why I asked why all of a sudden Mom was strict with Bea’s studies. I didn’t expect her reply when she said “Your daughter is behind in her class”.
She wants Bea to learn how to read and write by the end of the school year just like that kid in Prep 1. The kid she was talking about is good academically but wanting when it comes to emotional intelligence. I once saw her quietly setting in one corner, looking at the ceiling and don’t mingle with her classmates. In my observation, I think she doesn’t know how to inter-act with her peers. I don’t want my daughter to be like her. Nursery class is supposed to be fun and games. Not only that, we enrolled our daughter so she’ll be exposed to people and kids her age. We’re a bit worried because she knew and feel comfortable to only two persons, me and my wife.
When my wife showed me her report card, I saw the Teacher’s Evaluation consist of three blue circles and the rest are red circle. Blue means “Very Good” and red “Excellent”. I looked up her grades and all her subjects are 90 except for Filipino which was 89. I thought that’s not bad, in fact that’s very good, considering Bea’s only 3 and half years old and the youngest in her class. But my wife wasn’t satisfied. She blurted “She didn’t make it to the Top 5!”
So, this is what this is all about. It all comes down to prestige, the honor of being mentioned and recognized as one of the 5 brightest students in your class. You see, my daughter’s school awards students who excels academically four times in one school year. That means there’s a ceremony after every periodic evaluation to honor the top 5 students at each level. This does not only pit students to outdo one another but also make parents to put pressure on their kids. Since the school encourages parents to attend each ritual, there is always this unhealthy tendency for the eyes to observe who made it and who didn’t and the tongue to wag questions or insinuate stories.
I don’t blame the students or the parents if they acted in such manner; they are the victims here therefore susceptible to human foibles. If I start pointing fingers, it would be in the direction of the School Administrators. Their fond of inventing new ways to celebrate mediocrity. It does not only disrupt harmonious balance, it’s also psychotic.
wow! i think we also need to understand the children. i agree with your point here.
ReplyDeletesa dami na din kase ng mga pre-schools ngayon, kanya kanya na sila ng pataasan ng standard kuno.. na natotorture talaga ang mga bata.
ReplyDeletedong, there is a saying "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy"!
ReplyDeletelei, saan ka nakakita nang Nursery na merong 7 books. Ang alam ko it should be fun and games lang. Their pressuring kids at a very early age. Hindi ako magtataka kung meron nalang tumalong isa dyan sa tuktok nang building.
Naku, if I were you your wife would've heard a mouthful and violence would've ensued. And I would've gotten my kid out of that school en pronto.
ReplyDeleteMy wife and I are both honor-rollers, and we are first-hand victims of the kind of pressure begotten by those artificial measures of success.
I wrote about this topic in an entry a while back: http://blog.kapenilattex.com/2008/05/13/elite-schools-success-and-a-childs-sense-of-self-worth/
Hope you find it useful.
Oops, nasira yung link.
ReplyDeleteIt's Elite schools, success, and a child's sense of self-worth
let children be children for a while. learning should be fun.
ReplyDeleteGrades are but a gauge. They are not everything. What matters is the how much the child truly learned. A lot of schools in the United States have moved away from announcing who the "brightest" students are. They simply mail letters to the kids' parents as to how well their kids did in school. Thus, everyone is spared from knowing how the other kids performed as compared to their child. Same is true among the kids. Such information is hardly shared or disseminated among children since these tend to have an adverse effect on kids' morale and self-esteem.
ReplyDeleteBtw, I agree with you. Bea deserves our warmest congratulations for a job very well done. She did very well and deserves a lot of credit for her achievement.
ReplyDeleteI concur, your Honor! :-)
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I can't believe this is already happening in prep school. These are just kids, for chrissakes! Their brains are not even fully developed yet but they are being treated like competitive adults. Where the hell did their teachers learn their education theories?
I admire you for seeing things on a better light.
Well guys we have to admit it children of todays' generation are smarter, fast learner and mature in thinking than the children of yesteryears,and we are now trapped in a system where even at the younger age competition is the norm if you will not push your children to to do more they will certainly end up in row four,No ifs and buts your wife is on the right track.:)
ReplyDeleteLearning is supposed to be fun. Especially in your daughter's age. Recognition and rewards are every important. But as long as proper study habits are established early on, Bea is on the right path.
ReplyDeleteEQ is more important for her at this point. There are late bloomers when it comes to academic excellence. But Bea is doing good this early. It probably comes in the genes + the parenting style. Congrats, Bea!
Jon, thanks for the link. That really is an eye-popping reality check. As for the mouthful, we did quarrel but Bea shouted at us to be "QUITE"!
ReplyDeleteabou, remember the ADS Highschool in our hometown. Their student looks dorky because no time for fun and games. Puro aral kasi may kick-out.
panaderos, that's a very good idea mailing kids grades to their parents. Eliminating all those unnecessary Hoop-la. I'll try to suggest that in the next PTA meeting. Bea says "Thank you, Tito Baker".
R-yo, what I'm afraid for is the pressure. Sa murang idad ng mga batang yan baka lumuwag ang mga turnilyo ng utak.
ed v., I agree that in a dog-eat-dog environment. It's always reassuring to have the proper arsenal at your disposal. Having the best education for our kids is a parental responsibility but to compete for the sake of finding out whose better, your child or mine, is not in my agenda.
Ms.Jo, the initiative comes from her. We (I, at least) don't pressure her if she wants to study or not. Bea says "Thank you, Tita Jo".
minsan talaga pards,di ko rin maintindihan yung pagiging top or last ng klase sa pag-aaral ng bata..pero i think may punto ang bawat comment:kay abou at kay panaderos...:)
ReplyDeleteever, kahit comment ni edgar may puntos din. Sa panahon ngayon nakakalamang ang mataas na grado at kung saang paaralan ka galing. Ang hindi ko masikmura ay yung pag-untugin ang mga utak ng mga mag-aaral na wala namang kinalaman sa ikagaganda ng kanilang kinabukasan.
ReplyDeletethis might surprise you coming from a teacher but I believe that there should be a balance between academics and socialization. I have seen people who have been pressed to achieve and they did but they lacked social skills and guess what, the percentage of those making it really good in life are those who have been socially accepted than the geeky ones. I may be wrong but this is how I feel right now. If a child does well with his/her studies, that's great but there is no reason for someone to really "punish" the non-oerformer
ReplyDeleteKa Rolly, I agree, IQ and EI should go hand in hand. Eskol bukol din ako noong highschool but that didn't deter me. I out performed the brightest in my highschool batch.
ReplyDeletethere are parents who are overly grade-conscious... they push the kids too far. school is about learning and also socialization. it's sad when i see parents deny that opportunity to their kids.
ReplyDeletemotivation is important. however, when we, parents, get into the prestige thing too much, the kid suffers. it's no longer about the kid but ourselves, feeding our rspective egoes.
browsing the top universities in america I've notice that their admission requirements includes a high grades in school and a high class ranking, excellence in national test score and of course an awesome out of school activities(extra curricular activities).Notice that EQ is also given an emphasis .My point here is that while we push our children to study hard we should also encourage them to do things to develop their individual interest be it in sport or social activities.When we start to push our children at a young age we should bare in mind that we are pushing them to develop a studying habit a habit that will later separate them from the rest and once a child developed this habit, they will certainly excel on every field of their choice.Here in Korea elementary pupils,though they have school exams and quizzes they are not graded or ranked accordingly,What they have is only a comments on how they behave on a given subject (EQ).And yet children here study harder than you can imagine even at a very young age(without neglecting other activities notice that, they also excel in sports they harvest 13gold medals in the last olympic).Some mothers even start when the baby is still in the womb.
ReplyDeleteMari, you're right. It's no longer about parents' pride on their kids performance. It's more on parents'pride on out-performing other parents.
ReplyDeleteed v., I got no beef on that. My take is at my childs age, socialization and developing a proper study habit are more important to me regardless what's the outcome of her grades. Saka na ang pukpokan sa pag-aaral when she enters grade 1.
"saan ka nakakita nang Nursery na merong 7 books"
ReplyDeletehomaygas! nursery palang 7 books na agad! when i was in kinder (di pa kasi uso nun ang nursery) i only have 3 set of books but hey i turned out okay and succesful naman =D.
i really appreciate jon limjap's linked article, nakakarelate ako sa sinulat nya coz i know someone who undergo the same situation like his batchmate.
theonoski, ako hindi nakaranas ng kinder man lang. Pag tunton ko ng paaralan, grade 1 kaagad sa murang idad na 6 yr.old.
ReplyDeletei always tell my kids that the most important thing is for them to just do their best. there's nothing worse than failing and knowing that you didn't give it your all. but if you've done everything you could, but still couldn't achieve your objective, then just take it to mean that it wasn't meant to be.
ReplyDeleteon a lighter note, things are so different now, no? when i was in preschool, i used to complain because the teacher refused to teach us how to read because we were "too young". now, my kids start learning how to read at age 3 1/2 to 4 years old.
mimi
www.sleeplessinkl.com
mimi, I fully agree. That is why there is this method of teaching called "holistic". It concentrates on the stronger point of students. What's the use nga naman to teach math e mahina ako dun pero I got a "photographic memory". That means holistic method prepares me to become a lawyer or a doctor rather than an engineer.
ReplyDelete