What a gas! You gotta come and see, at the Zoo. – Paul Simon
Going home for vacation is a stressful experience, especially if you have a very active kid. I have to think of every thing from our baggage, passports and airfare tickets. Not to mention the exasperating long queues in front of the check-in counter and security check before the boarding area.
Para hindi mabagot, I entertain myself by watching our fellow kabayans who are also on their way home. It’s amazing that by just observing, you can somehow evaluate a person’s character. I categorize them as follows:
Japorms – Everything he wears is brand new, from signature sport shoes, to t-shirt, to ball cap and sunglasses (worn even inside the terminal). Japorms usually hangs around where ladies congregate (see Chatters).
Hepa - You can see him coming miles away. His covered from head to toe with jewelry, from necklace the size of a door chain to rings with stones as big as your thumb. Hepa has the same characteristic and hunting ground as Japorms.
Over-Weights – They know exactly the weight limit for check-in baggage and the number of hand-carried luggage allowed by airlines. Yet they squeeze in some more hoping baka makalusot. There are two known species, the Weight Watcher and the Pasa Load.
Weight Watcher – Typically hangs in front of the check-in counter, always watchful of a fellow passenger’s baggage while being weight. If it’s below the allowable limit, her standard line is “Kabayan, kulang naman sa bigat ang bagahi mo. Paki dagdag naman itong sa akin. Magaan lang ito, sampung kilo”.
Pasa Load – Her hunting ground is the queue in Customs before entering the pre-departure area. Her mark is usually male, single with no hand-carried luggage. Her standard line is “Kabayan, wala ka namang dala. Paki bitbit naman itong isa sa mga bagahi ko. Magaan lang ito, sampung kilo”.
The Movers – Usually a family with teenage children. You’ll recognize them because their trolleys are in convoy. Lots of heavy boxes and luggage when checking in. Parang ipinabagahi ang buong bahay.
The Tribe – A bus load when they arrive at the airport. Only one or two is going on vacation, the rest are well wishers and strollers. Ginagawang pasyalan ang airport.
Chatters – Noisy and always in group. They make it a point to occupy the same row seat number to continue their ruckus inside the airplane. Pity are those who are behind or in front of them if they want a peaceful journey.
Aristocrat – Always aloof, separates from the crowd. Will mingle with the Movers if it pleases her but avoids Chatters at all cost. Makes it a point to let everyone knows she’s flying Business Class.
And of course there’s the rest of our kabayans who minds their own business and anticipating their much deserved vacation. Just like you and me.