Probably the greatest harm done by vast wealth is the harm that we of moderate means do ourselves when we let envy enter deep into our own natures. – Thedore Roosevelt
I’ve never attended an 18th birthday bash, but my brother did. Even so, I saw them practice dancing the “cotillion”. I just can’t stand this kind of occasion or ceremony. It’s too “classy” for my taste.
I’ve never attended an 18th birthday bash, but my brother did. Even so, I saw them practice dancing the “cotillion”. I just can’t stand this kind of occasion or ceremony. It’s too “classy” for my taste.
But birthday “debut” has its purpose. In the old days, it’s a way for one “rich” family to announce to other “rich” families that they have an “available” daughter of marrying age. It also served as an excuse to flaunt the family’s wealth.
Here in the kingdom, some “nouveau rich” expats push it to the next level. They celebrate their child’s birthday like an 18 years old debutante. Complete with “rose-giving”, cotillion and the whole nine yards. It’s every mother’s dream when their daughter reaches the age of – SEVEN.
Why seven? What’s so special about the number seven? Until now, no one can explain to me of its significance except that’s the age most children are accepted in grade 1. I can only think of one reason and I already mentioned it above.
When it comes to “ostentatious display”, no one can beat a particular mother from my daughter’s school. On her child’s seventh birthday, she handed out cards similar to a wedding invitation. It got names of participants for the cotillion, “7-roses dance”, ushers and usherettes and so on. The venue was a huge “estereha” (a rented compound for picnic, parties and other occasion) and catered by a well-known restaurant. Complete with McDo and other form of entertainment. Besides the child’s classmates and parents, the entire school personnel were also invited. But what makes this occasion unique was - her child is a BOY!
You might say I’m just envious. No, I’m not. I’m telling these stories because it scares me. Next month, my daughter Bea will turn seven and already I can feel her mother “scheming”. Huwag naman po sana…
a boy ? lol... fathers never waste their time and more importantly money.. for such celebrations. In Mexican inspired California, Quinceañera naman, when the girl turns 15. Grabeng gastusan yung debut as in libo libo. Dito umaabot pa ng 10,000 if done in a posh hotel ugh. Bakit hindi na lang gastusin sa college education ng bata ?
ReplyDeleteTurning 7 is important they say. with my daughter's 7th bday, my wife rented a dancing castle right in my backyard for her friends, as well tables and chairs and catered Pinoy food for an outdoor party for friends. It was a blast but nowhere near as pricey as cotillon hehehe..
Okay lang sana bro, kung ang misus ang gagastos. The thing is ako pa rin ang mag so-shoulder. : (
DeleteFor me naman, you can celebrate birthdays kahit ano pa man, but for a child to be given an extra-cool celebration at 7 is just far too impractical. But of course, we should celebrate LIFE everyday of our lives, so the mother might be just happy for his son.
ReplyDeletesheng, McDo lang sana at school, okay na. Now a-days those things are considered non-essentials.
Deletebuti na lang celebration in our town are cheaper. basta may handang spaghetti at fried chicken, kahit iasng buong klase pa imbitahin ay di masyado masakit sa bulsa :)
ReplyDeleteNoong maliit pa kami hindi uso ang McDo. Kaya lahat ng kaklase iimbitahan sa bahay. Pansit, puto at coke, katalo na. : )
DeleteHindi kami nasanay ng malakihang birthday parties noon, siguro nga dahil hindi naman kami mayaman. Kaunting handa lang to celebrate another year.
ReplyDeleteI understand your point, Kuya. Pero kapag si Bea na kaya ang mag-request na gusto niyang magkaroon ng fairy tale party sa 7th birthday niya, makakatanggi po kaya kayo? :D
RJ, of course I can't refuse. Pero there should be some conditions. Kahit mag "ballroom dancing" pa ang mga bata, basta walang cotillion at ano pang ka-ekekan ng debut.
DeleteTurning seven means crossing the age of reason and culpability. In short pag 7 ka na you can discern what's malicious or not, what's right or wrong.
ReplyDeleteThat's why it's a special birthday. But making a lavish celebration is only good as long as no huge loans/debts are incurred.
So when my daughter turns seven, I'll give her a new car.
mwehehe
(matchbox)
Ahh, so das ne. Thanks for the info, bro. But IMO, ang anak ko, haven't reached or crossed that line yet.
Deleteah. two girls. overpowering one man? sows. kaya mo iyan!
ReplyDeleteI don't know what you mean by this, atticus.
Deleteibig kong sabihin, mukhang makakaya ka ni misis at ni daughter na magpa-party nang bongga para sa seventh birthday.
DeleteSi misis matitiis ko yan. Pero pag ang anak ko na ang nag lalambing, ang hirap pahindian. : (
Deleteyan din ang palagi kong tanong ky madera,anung meron ang 7yr old girl para ipanghanda ng bonggang bongga,sabi nya ewan nya rin kc wala din naman samin yun,wala pang nag bday ng bongga samin,nung debut ko sang tambak na labada kaharap ko at pagtapos nun 2 hopia at 1 pepsi handa ko hahaha at yung mga bata sa bahay pag nag bday sila pwede silang mag request kung anung lulutuin at walang bigay bigay sa kapitbahay hahahahaha,mga walang kapwa tao lang hahahah
ReplyDelete~lee
Sa amin din, nag bi-birthday din kami pero simple lang at walang pinag-iba kahit 7 or 8 or 9 yrs old. Pero kumbidado naman namin ang mga bata sa kapitbahay. : )
Deletenatutuwa naman ako sa yo. tipikal father. ayaw ng ka ek-ekan.
ReplyDeleteseven is special because it is the age where the child is beginning to discern right from wrong though not entirely, of course. but an extravagant debut-like celeb? OA naman ata yun. he he pero sabi nga each to his own. yun ang trip, at gusto gumastos at me gagastusin so hayaan lang... wag lang gagastos at iiyak pagtapos.
You're right. OA na me kasama pang hangin. But it seems I'm facing right now the inevitable. :(
DeleteWell, the dreaded day happened, bro. OK naman and naging resulta. Although Bea might not yet understand the occasion now, may pictures and movie na makikita sya pag dating ng panahon and then she will appreciate the effort you and Babes made.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the consolation. You're right, at least she'll have something to treasure. : )
DeleteI remember a woman, a comedienne, who recalled being told she had entered tthe "Age of Reason" meaning she is now culpable for everything she does wrong (in the eyes of God). She felt betrayed! To realize she could havemadfe all kinds of mistakes, guilt free, and no one told her until her freedom was gone.
ReplyDeleteLiving so close to Mexico, we have many bakeries (panaderias) and party planners, that offer specials for quinceñieras (spelling uncertain). Be strong, good man!
Keith, it's over and my daughter and wife had their wishes and fun. I on the other hand is a few thousand riyals poorer.
Deletethe entire conversation covered comments that lavish expenses on birthdays are impractical, unnecessary, but there's one who commented that if they want to celebrate birthdays lavishly and they have the means, why not? whatever one wants to do with her daughter or son's birthday celebration need not even be an issue... i belong to the circle of friends and relatives who always celebrate birthdays, both lavish and simple... and whenever there are parties that to some or many maybe lavish or impracticable, we dont notice that among ourselves. We go there, we enjoy ourselves, we dont take notice if the celebrants had to change gowns for like 3 times and to think they are just turning 7... we dont say "it is not practical to even hold a raffle on a birthday celebration..." we just enjoy the party. we dont even say that is to flaunt their wealth.... but if they want, so? what's the big deal, there is something to flaunt in the first place.... the point is, whatever way you want to celebrate your kid's birthday, the bottomline is, you all feel happy that you are indeed celebrating.... so just be happy with the lavish parties others are spending on birthdays... they dont hurt you, because, the money in the first place didnt come from your pockets....
ReplyDeletei noticed that the entire conversation was focused on comments like lavish parties are impracticable or unnecessary.... but there's one who said that for as long as they have something to spend on to, WHY NOT? yes, why not... exactly... i belong to the circle of friends and relatives who celebrate birthdays all the time, either lavish or simple... and when we get to attend lavish celebrations... we dont take notice at all the things that they do "to flaunt their wealth" accdg to one commentator, we dont care if the celebrants had to change their gowns 3x when if they are just turning 7, or we dont find it impracticable to have a raffle on a 7th birthday, or programmes almost similar to a debut celebration. whenever we see that, we are amazed, happy we were part of the celebration... we commend the parents for spending both time and money just to make their kid happy... that is all that matters..bec when your kid is happy, YOU ARE HAPPY. and if by doing so, they get to flaunt their wealth... so what? if there is wealth to flaunt in the first place....
ReplyDeletewhatever it is that will make you and your kid happy, do it... there shouldnt be any pressure on your part on what your kid might ask for on his or her birthday... coz if it makes ur kid happy but you think you cant afford it, then tell your kid in a manner that she wont feel offended, i just hope your kid will understand... but im sure she will if your family is not used to lavish parties anyways
why is my comment still being reviewed? what im just saying is that, lavish celebrations should not be an issue. for those who are used to lavish celebrations, it is just OK to spend... the means is there...but for those who are not used to parties where you really spend money, then dont even throw comments like spending lavishly is impracticable or unnecessary... for as long as there is money you can use to do all these parties, go ahead. i understand the mother who had the lavish celebration for his boy, you realized it in the end, she was just so happy with his kid, she thinks, he deserves that party... im sure all the kids there enjoyed themselves
ReplyDeleteSorry about that. I haven't checked my comment box for sometimes. It's just that all comments done after one month an article is posted is subject to review.
Deletethose who commented that lavish parties are impracticable, are those who are not used to spending so much during birthdays... and for those who are used to celebrating birthdays, they are not mindful if they spend so much on these parties... whether practical or not, they dont mind... that is for their kid...making our kids happy make us happy....
ReplyDeleteWe are used to lavish parties too but only on the important ones; like wedding, baptismal and fiestas. My wife and I also belong to that kind of family. Because of our family's political and social standing in our community, we've been practicing it long before I was born.
DeleteBut, IMO, it just doesn't sit well at present in the over-all social structure, especially with these global crisis going on, to spend more than necessary.